Service

Let’s be honest.

These days, competing with the big box stores and online behemoths is pretty damn hard, especially when it comes to price. So if you happen to be looking for bargains, discounted products, or lost leaders, you have come to the wrong place.

So how do we stay in business when the deck is stacked against us?

We do it by offering one-on-one personalized service.

We do it by providing hand-selected products.

We do it by preparing and collating product reviews that have eliminated the likes and me-too noise in favor of more nuanced views of the products we sell.

We do it by listening to our customers and giving them, to the best of our ability, what they want, when and how they want it. As for the whys-and-wherefores, it is none of g-d business, unless it is voluntarily offered and leads to continuous improvement.

We do it by rewarding loyalty; and last but not least,

We do it by staying in our lane, by not trying to be all things to all people. By not crossing the line. To that end, we only select products that facilitate solo sex or are fapping-related. Granted, it does get a bit fuzzy when it comes to non-solos but from what we can tell, based on the feedback we get, it is not uncommon for couples to engage in mutual masturbation as part of foreplay or remote sex when forced to be apart. Therefore, as a service to our customers, we accommodate their masturbatory needs.

In short, our service guarantee aims to delight you in a way the big boys can’t and never will, given their obsession with share-holder value, razor-thin margins and nickel-and-diming their employees.

That is not us, nor will it ever be.